Belief by inference

I believe in God.

Not because my parents told me to, not because my church told me to, but because:

I've inferred from the intrinsic strength of the cosmological argument, the moral argument,

Swinburne's argument from temporal order, the argument from miracles, and C.S. Lewis' argument

from reason that the probability of theism is more than sufficiently high.

Lisa Quintana

Pastor Sam Storms letter to OU

Check out @Cfeix7’s Tweet: https://twitter.com/Cfeix7/status/947114670443384832?s=09

This is the letter Pastor Sam Storms wrote to OU, regarding the resignation of Kirk Humphreys. It is a beautifully written letter centered on biblical truths.

If you can access Twitter, check it out!

Sam and Izzy

Normally, Sam hates big dogs, but not only does he not hate Izzy, he loves her!

I love watching these two interact! 😍

Every good and perfect gift comes from above!

Prosperity and the social gospel vs the true gospel

The prosperity gospel says you need more.
The social gospel says you need less.
The true gospel says Jesus is contentment in more or less.

Dr. Andrew Farley

Sam and Harry

Sam and his friend Harry in their Christmas collars! 💝💝💝

Prevenient Grace

For one of my classes, I wrote a paper entitled, "The Calvinism Conflict."

In a nut shell, Calvinism says that God predetermined before the beginning of the world, who would be saved (the elect) and who would not be saved. 

I wrote this paper to refute Calvinism. I used the 5 point of Calvinism which are:

T- total deprivation

U-unmerited favor

L-limited atonement

I-irresistible grace

P-perseverance of the saints.

This is referred to as TULIP Calvinism. I don't disagree with every aspect of Calvinism, but there are many elements, of the doctrine, that I think are in contradiction to Scripture.

When my professor commented on my paper (which I got an A on 😀) he explained to me about Prevenient Grace. It is the doctrine of John Wesley:

It's true that on our own we are unable to reach out to God for salvation. Prevenient Grace (the grace that "comes before") maintains that God is always and constantly reaching out to all persons, offering grace that enables us to hear the Gospel and respond. 

Not that we naturally or innately have "free will," but God offers "free grace" that enables us to freely make a willful decision. 

It is "freed will" rather than "free will."

Love this!!

R.C Sproul

The great R.C. Sproul died today. He was a  phenomenal Theologian and Apologist.

He has left behind an amazing legacy!

Wonder

My friend Shelly and I went to see the movie, Wonder today. It's about a boy with Treacher Collins Syndrome, which causes severe facial deformity. He goes to a regular school, for the first, when he is in 6th grade.

I don't think it's as good as the book. But it's still a great movie to teach children, as well as adults, to treat those, who are different than you, with dignity and respect.

Believe

What we want is not to surrender, but to believe. Christians don't live by primarily being tough with themselves, but by believing God had already done something tremendous. Believing in the change God has made in us will lead us to do great things.
We will do them because we believe it's now our nature to do so. We'll do them by faith in God about ourselves, agreeing with him. No one will have to harangue us into doing something godly!  In every way, acting godly and doing godly things are the most "normal" things for those who are God's children.

God's Astounding Opinion of You.

Pure joy

It is pure joy watching Sam and Sadie play!

Every good and perfect gift comes from above. James 1:17

Jesus is our treasure

"The paltriness of our lives is largely due to our fascination with the trinkets and trophies of the unreal world that is passing away. When we are not profoundly affected by the treasure in our grasp, apathy and mediocrity are inevitable. If passion is not to degenerate into nostalgia or sentimentality, it must renew itself at its source. The treasure is Jesus Christ. He is the Kingdom within."

God's Astounding Opinion of You

Carry one another's burdens

You can't help with a burden, unless you get close to burdened people.

Timothy Keller

Listen to the right person

We need to listen to God about our life, not someone who will not give an account for our life.

Christian Associates

Absolutely gorgeous

Only God could create a moth this gorgeous!!

Thankful

I am so thankful that God has healed my OCD enough so that I can have this little guy!

"The One who is in me is greater than the one in the world." 1John 4:4

Sam and Sadie

Sam and his girlfriend, Sadie! 💝💝💝

Christ in His Entirety

The entirety of Christ himself is joined to us 24 hours a day, 7 days a week,  without interruption.

Dr. Andrew Farley

Sam and Sadie

Poor Sadie is flirting with Sam, but Sam is playing hard to get! 😂

The Blessing of a Bad Reputation

"Loving the promises of God more than approval of others has been the mark of true Christians throughout history."

Desiringgod.org

8 reasons in support of God's existence

Renown apologist William Lane Craig gives 8 reasons in support of God's existence. I will list all 8 and expand on the first one:

1. God is the best explanation why anything at all exists.

• Every contingent thing has an explanation of its existence.
• If the universe has an explanation of its existence, that explanation is a transcendent personal being.
• The universe is a contingent thing.
• Therefore, the explanation of the universe is a transcendent, personal being-which is what everybody means by "God."

2. God is the the best explanation of the origin of the universe.

3. God is the best explanation of the applicability of mathematics to the physical world.

4. God is the best explanation of the fine-tuning of the universe for intelligent life.

5. God is the best explanation of intentional states of consciousness.

6. God is the best explanation of objective moral values and duties.

7. The very possibility of God's existence implies that God exists.

8. God can be personally known and experienced.

If you want to learn more about these reasons, check out William Lane Craig's book, "Reasonable Faith."

Information vs Transformation

"We can know the right words yet never be changed. This is the difference between information and transformation."

AW Tozer

Lamentations

Tolerance vs Truth

This is a quote from apologist, Frank Turek:
Tolerance is passive; it means I'll stop caring and loving. Love is active; it means I will tell you the truth even if you won't like me for it.

Friedrich Schleiermacher

Here is a quote from the 18th century German theologian, Friedrich Schleiermacher:

God is that on which we feel dependent; sin is a failure of our sense of dependence. Christ is the man who was utterly dependent on God in every thought, word, and action- a dependence that added up to an existence of God in him. Christ's mission was to communicate this sense of dependence to others.

Title Explained

The title of my book, "Not Mine Alone" came to me in the middle of the night. There is no question in my mind that my Heavely Father spoke to me about what the title of my book would be.
The title has deep significance in both the narrow and broad perspective. The narrow perspective is directly about my biological children. All children are God's children first, and their parents second. However, there is an extra element to my story. My children are God's children first, but they are also Wayne and Dina Arnold's children.
In the broad sense, my entire life is not my own, both my earthly life and my eternal life.
It is highly probable that my past decisions could have resulted in either my own death or someone else's. But God chose to save my earthly life.
Lastly, my eternal life was given to me by my Heavenly Father. 1Corinthians 6:19&20 says that I am not my own and that I was bought at a price. Jesus paid the ultimate price. He sacrificed his own life so I could spend eternity with him! 💙💜

Sermon

Today's sermon was from Revelation 7:9-17. It's entitled, "When we've been there Ten Thousand Years!"

There are several reasons for us to think about heaven:

1. It frees us from excessive dependence upon earthly wealth and comfort.
2. A focus on heaven enables us to respond appropriately to the injustices of this life.
3. A contemplative focus on heaven produces the fruit of endurance and perseverance now.

In Revelation 7: 15-17, there are at least 8 blessings promised that we will experience in heaven:

1. We will stand before the throne of God.
2. We will have the pleasure of serving Him night and day.
3. God will shelter us with His presence.
4, 5, 6&7 are all drawn from Isaiah 49:10, "They shall not hunger or thirst, neither scorching wind nor sun shall strike them, for he who has pity on them will lead them, and by springs of water will lead them, and by springs of water will guide them."
8. God "will swallow up death forever; and the Lord God will wipe away tears from all faces, and the reproach of his people he will take away from all the earth."

Big yawn

It is 10:30 in the morning and Sam is still yawning! 😍💝💝💝

Martin Luther

I watched the movie Luther. It is about Martin Luther; the medieval German protestant reformer. I had read a lot about Luther, but never found him to be the most interesting of historical figures. However, this movie changed my opinion! The way he confronted the abuses of the church, and refused to compromise in the face of extreme opposition is so inspiring!  Plus, he translated the entire Bible into German and was single handedly responsible for the 16th century reformation!
I pray to be that unwavering in my own faith!

Book cover proposal

This is the proposed book cover for my memoir!

Cover Artist Meeting

I had a meeting today with the cover artist for my book. The artist's name is Scott Solier  (not sure if the last name is spelled right).

He asked me if I had anything  in mind. I told him I envisioned raised hands symbolizing an offer to God.

He asked me what I thought about using MY hands. He thought it would really make an impact  since I have a cross tattoo on my right middle finger, and a Bible on the inside of my right wrist. He also came up with the idea of showing my hands writing the first few words of my book. I absolutely love  the idea! I am very excited!

Scott said something to me that really made an impact. He said, "Surround yourself with people who are  your biggest fans."
That is something I want to remind others to do; Surround yourself with people who  are your biggest fans!

Predestination

On the book, "Relaxing with God," author Andrew Farley, addresses the "hot button" topic of predestination.
He references Romans 9:30, "What then shall we say? That the Gentiles, who did not pursue righteousness, have obtained it, a righteousness that is by faith..."

For some time, I have been a pretty staunch Calvinist; that God chooses some but not others to be saved.

However, Farley is suggesting that God's predestination is really about him preselecting the Gentiles to receive the gospel Too!

Very thought provoking!

Sermon

Today's sermon was from Revelation 7:1-17 & 14:1-5. It's entitled, "The Servants of God: Sealed and Safe."

Revelation 7 is really an answer to a question posed in Revelation 6:17: "If the world is the object of God's wrath, how will Christians survive?"

The answer is found in Revelation 7:3:
We have the seal of the Holy Spirit on our foreheads, which is God's mark of possession over us, and is used to preserve Christians when the world and Satan come against us.

Throughout the book of Revelation, Satan is attempting to parody the Holy Spirit. The mark of the beast is not actually 666. It is a parody/demonic counterfeit of God's seal that is on believers.

The 144,000 that is referenced in Revelation 7:4 are the messianic (non-violent) army whom conquer the enemy. This army is a reference to the totality of churches. It includes you and me!

In Revelation 14:4, when John speaks of those who have not been defiled by women, but have kept themselves chaste, is an analogy for those who have continued in the faith and not succumbed to the world.

Legacy of an Adopted Child Poem

Once there were two women who did not know each other.

One you do not remember; the other you call mother.

Two different lives shaped to make you one.

One became your guiding star; the other became your sun.

The first gave you life; the second taught you to live it.

The first gave you a need for love; the second was there to give it.

One gave you a nationality; the other gave you a name.

One gave you a seed of talent; the other gave you an aim.

One gave you emotions; the other calmed your fears.

One saw your first sweet smile; the other dried your tears.

One sought for a home that she could not provide.

The other prayed for a child, and her hope was not denied.

And now you ask me through your tears

The age old question of the years; heredity or environment-

which are you the product of?

Neither my darling, neither...just two different kinds of love.💙💚💛💜

Great Night

I went to the Scope Ministries banquet evening, where Andrew Farley was the guest speaker.
He is the author of Relaxing With God, among many other books.
He was amazing! He asked this question:
Do you focus more on how big your sin is or how big your God is?
I also heard two amazing testimonies from people who had struggled with a law based relationship with God, and how they have experienced freedom.
It's not about following rules, but allowing Christ to rule in our hearts and in our lives!

Andrew Farley

Check out @DrAndrewFarley’s Tweet: https://twitter.com/DrAndrewFarley/status/917421967925567494?s=09

Predestination continued

I finished reading the section on predestination from Andrew Farley's book. Here are some final thoughts.

When we read Ephesians to study predestination we find a use of we/us versus you. Early in the letter, Paul says "we" were predestined, and then he goes on to say "you also" were included.

So, who is the "we?' Jews.  Who is the "you also?" Gentiles.

It's a plural you.  The point is that "we Jews" were always picked as God's chosen people. But now, under God's new way, "you Gentiles" are also included.

What if predestination is not about you at the exclusion of your next-door neighbor? What if it's actually about God's radical and controversial move to include the Gentiles in the gospel?

That is why we find predestination explicitly taught in Ephesians and Romans-two letter to the Gentiles. And that's why Paul is the only one to discuss it at length, because he was the apostle to the Gentiles!

The doctrine of predestination is not taught in any comprehensive way in Hebrews, James, 1 Peter, 2 Peter, 1, 2 or 3 John, or any epistles written to the Jews. Because the Jews already knew that Israel had been chosen!

It is not necessary that we get the doctrine of predestination  "right" in order to ensure our salvation. It's just an area that I have particular interest in, and I think Andrew Farley's interpretation is brilliant!

Fun Day!

I had so much fun today hanging out with my Aunt Blanche, and my cousin Kim. My Aunt Blanche had surgery for a carotid artery but she is doing so well.
As we were taking selfies, we were laughing so hard that we had to keep retaking the picture over and over!

I do not see my extended family very much, because I tend to isolate. However, that is going to change. There is nobody who understands and connects with you like your family!

I am going to make a concerted effort to stay in contact with my family! Especially after today!

By the way, I have almost 40 first cousins, and yes, that only includes first cousins!😀

Sermon

Today Pastor Storms preached from Revelation 6:9-11. It's entitled "The Voice of the Martyrs."

He shared a story about a 16 year old Pakistani boy who was killed 3 weeks ago by his classmates, because he refused to renounce his faith. His name was Sharoon Masih.


Pastor Storms also shared some statistics; more than 100,000 Christians died for their faith during the last ten years. That means that on average there is one Christian killed every five minutes. These martyrs know three things to be true; God is on control, God is holy, and God is true.

Pastor Storms concluded the sermon by saying, "I grieve for the parents of Sharoon Masih. Their pain and suffering and sense of loss must be incredible. But if there is any comfort for them it is in knowing that their son was counted 'worthy' to suffer for the name of Christ. Like the martyrs in Revelation 12, Sharoon did not love his life even unto death. And as horrific as his death was, he 'conquered' Satan 'by the blood of the Lamb' and 'by the word' of his 'testimony' ( Rev. 12:11).

Facebook

I joined Facebook today. I had been hesitant to do it, because the last time I got so obsessed with it, that I had unsubscribe.
My publisher told me how useful social media is for promoting books, so I decided to join.

I talked to my accountability partner. We made a deal that I would check it for ten minutes in the morning, and ten minutes in the evening. I will text her every night to let her know how I did that day.

I couldn't have been more blessed today! I was able to connect with one of my twins (Josh) on Facebook! We both said how happy we are to be Facebook friends and that we look forward to getting to know each other better! So amazing!! 💙💚💛💜

Something I need to keep in mind is that I have been imparted with self-control by the Holy Spirit. I have self-control with food, gossip, drugs, and yes, Facebook too!

Putting off the old and putting on the new

I had lunch with my accountability partner. Both of us talked about our struggles and our victories. The main thing I am struggling with right now is gossip. So I made a commitment to text her every night to let her know if I gossiped or not.

Aside from gossip being a sin, the biggest problem with it is that that is not who I am anymore, so I feel convicted every time I do it. God convicts me, not so I will feel guilty, but because I am acting in complete contradiction to my new identity. This is what God says about my new identity:

I am a holy priesthood
I am dead to sin
I am a slave to righteousness
My old self was crucified on the cross with Christ
I am seated with Christ in the heavenlies
I have self control
I am perfectly loved, accepted and forgiven

I am realizing more and more that the key to not sinning is not about working harder or trying to get right with God. I became right with God the moment I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior. It's about believing what God says about me. When I believe what God says about me, which is the truest thing about me, I live according to my new nature. And my new nature is dead to sin and a slave to righteousness.

Scripture verse:
"Put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness" ( Eph. 4:22-24).

Book update

I met with my publisher today.

I am very excited! We are meeting with the cover artist on Friday at 2. I have seen some of his book covers and they are amazingly intricate.

I am so excited to see what he comes up with for mine! 😀

All the forgiveness you will ever need

In the book, "Relaxing with God" Andrew Farley says this,

"Jesus was the propitiation (1John 2:2), meaning 'the gift that satisfies completely.' This is precisely why passages in the New Testament that discuss our forgiveness expresses it in the past tense. It's past tense because nothing new is going to happen."

"The phrase 'ask forgiveness' and 'ask for forgiveness' do not appear even once in the New Testament."

"What should we do when we sin? Stop. Turn from it. Act differently (Eph. 4:28). Seek repair with those we've hurt. Still, in all of this, we don't have to ask for God to forgive us. Instead, we simply recall that our confidence is in the once-for-all sacrifice of his Son, and we thank him that we are forgiven people. That is how we truly honor the finished work of Christ."

"The requirement for our forgiveness and cleansing from God has already been met on the cross. So there is nothing we can do to make our forgiveness any more real than it already is right now."


Scripture verse:

"For by one  sacrifice he has made perfect forever those who are being made holy" (Hebrews 10:14, italicize mine).
 

Relaxing with God continued

I just finished chapter 4 of "Relaxing with God." There are a few things that really stood out to me in this chapter:

There are 613 laws total in the bible. Our flirtation with any portion of the law reveals our total disrespect for its perfection. Only those who opt for grace truly respect the perfect and impossible standard of the whole law.

The law did not die, but we died to the law. Our role now is to act dead to it, because we are dead to it. It's simply not for us as believers.

The law is still around. It's holy and perfect in every way (Romans 7:12). It is super useful in pointing out the grime on the face of humanity. It's just not any good at wiping it off!

In other words, the law makes us aware of when we have missed the mark (sin), but it is the love and grace that is lavished on us by God that enables us not to sin.

I have been studying law and grace for a couple of years. It is a real area of struggle in my life; to not try to prove my worth or goodness out of some obligatory act or performance.

From around the age 7, I remember being called a "mistake." Since that time, I have repeatedly tried to prove that my very existence was not a mistake. That has manifested in attempting to gain approval by works or performance.

But I am under a new covenant; the covenant of grace, which says I am perfectly acceptable and worth because of the shed blood of Jesus on the cross. God has declared me (and all other believers) worthy and acceptable. I can relax in the knowledge of this truth! 😊

Sermon

Today, Pastor Storms taught out of Revelation 6:1-8.

Here are some things that stood out to me:

• Revelation is not concerned merely with events at the close of history. There are multiple sections of the book that recapitulates (reiterates) one another. Each of which begins with the first coming of Christ and concludes with the second coming of Christ and the end of history.
• The book of Revelation is built around three series of seven judgments.
• There is no mistaking that these judgments proceed from Jesus Christ. Each seal is broken, and thus its judgment unleashed on the earth by the "Lamb" (v.1).

The First Seal (6:2)

The identity of the first horseman is most likely a Satanic parody or imitation of Jesus, and is interpreted as evil.The language of "conquering" is also used in Revelation of the beast oppressing and persecuting the people of God ( 11:7; 13:7). The "bow" is the symbol of intention to conquer by military might and tyranny. Nowhere in Revelation or in the NT does Jesus carry a bow. He is pictured with a sword.

The Second Seal (6:3-4)

The second horseman has power to take peace from the earth so that people kill one another. This may also include persecution of Christians since the word translated "slay" is literally "slaughter."

The Third Seal (6:5-6)

The third horseman is the agent for famine. The overall picture here is of both scarcity and plenty, an economic imbalance in the supply of food and the necessities of life.

The Fourth Seal (6:7-8)

This horseman is given a name: "Death". "Hades". This horseman is given authority from God to inflict death by four means: sword (war), famine, pestilence, and wild beasts. These judgments are limited in their scope, touching only 1/4 of the earth.

Our reaction to these judgments should be gratitude and evangelism. First, the fact that you have trusted Jesus to endure in your place the wrath and judgment you otherwise deserve to experience ought to awaken profound thanksgiving for the forgiveness of sins. Believers will not have to endure these judgments. Second, countless individuals still abide under the wrath of God. If ever there were an incentive to take the gospel to men and women around us, this is it.

Relaxing With God

I am reading a book by Andrew Farley entitled, "Relaxing With God."

I am only on chapter 3, but it is proving to be a great book, and something that is really needed in my life. It's about trying to prove your worth or goodness by works.

He says, "We start to think that we need long list of instructions to be "good" Christians-to get right and stay right with God."

In chapter 2, Farley asks two questions:
1. Do I genuinely believe that God's message through Jesus is supposed to be simple?
2. Do I genuinely believe that the gospel is designed to bring me to a place of real spiritual relaxation?

He goes on to say that the kind of works that please God actually come from relaxing with him.

This is why the author of Hebrews tells us to "make every effort to enter that rest."

Making an effort to rest may sound like a completely paradoxical statement, if it weren't for the fact that it takes a "concerted effort on our part to get to the place where we can truly relax with God."

My Obsessive Compulsive Disorder has always been motivated by not feeling good enough. Several times , I have taken the standard diagnostic test for OCD.
The questions usually assume that someone with OCD is motivated to act out their compulsions because, if they don't, something horrible will happen.

However, that has never been the case for me. I don't fear some catastrophic event or life threatening illness if I do or don't do certain things. When asked by therapists, the same phrase always comes to mind, "I haven't done enough." In other words, if I don't don't engage in certain compulsive behaviors, then I'm not good enough. In reality, it's that I believe that God is not enough.

I have to continue engraving God's truth on my heart and mind. I am completely worthy and acceptable, not because of my performance, but because of Christ's performance on the cross. When I come to a place of complete acceptance of this truth, relaxing with God won't seem like such an effort.

Scripture verse:

"Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls" (Matthew 11:29).

Important Truth

While I was doing my Bible study, something really stood out to me that the author said,
"Sanctification, the process of gradually becoming more and more like Christ as we cooperate with the Holy Spirit's work in us, is indeed a lifelong process, but each specific area of 'the flesh' in our lives need not remain an issue for our entire lives."

So, the process of becoming more Christ like is a life long journey ( ..."that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Christ Jesus").

However, that doesn't necessarily mean that each area of struggle in our lives, has to be a life long issue.

Whether it's overeating, lying, gossiping, drug addiction, fear or some other stronghold that we are struggling with, complete freedom is possible.

When we accept our new identity in Christ, and come in agreement with God that He has imparted us with self-control, we can experience freedom over specific areas of the flesh.

What good news!😊

Bridgeway

After attending the last Covenant Membership class this morning, I am now officially a member of Bridgeway Church! I am very excited to be a part of a church that is completely centered on the Word of God.

One of our members died last week, so Pastor Storms felt God calling him to preach out of 2 Corinthians 5:1-10, instead of Revelation.

The title of the sermon was, "What Happens When a Christian Dies?"

The only section of the sermon I'm going to blog about is, "The Judgement Seat of Christ."

2 Corinthians 5:10 says, "For we must all appear before the judgement seat of Christ, that each one may receive what is due him for the things done, whether good or bad."

This judgement is not designed to determine entrance into the kingdom of God but reward or status or authority within it.

The differing nature and degree of reward will be manifest in the depths of knowledge and enjoyment of God that each person experiences. Some may balk at this notion, but they shouldn't. Here's why:

** Hardly anything will bring you more joy in heaven than to see other saints with greater rewards than you, experiencing greater glory than you or given greater authority than you. There will be no jealousy or pride to fuel your unhealthy competitiveness. There will be no greed to energize your race to get more than anyone else. You will then delight only in delighting in the delight of others. Their achievement will be your greatest joy. Their success will be your highest happiness. You will truly rejoice with those who rejoice. Envy comes from lack. But in heaven there is no lack. Whatever you need , you get. Whatever desires may arise, they are satisfied.

Some people in heaven will be happier than others. But this is no reason for sadness or anger. In fact, it will serve only to make you happier to see others are happier than you! Why? Because love dominates in heaven and love is rejoicing in the increase of the happiness of others. 
The reason why we struggle with this because now on earth our thoughts and desires and motives are corrupted by sinful self-seeking, competitiveness, envy , jealousy, and resentment.

I had never heard it put the way Pastor Storms explained it. What a comfort to know that in heaven, self will be taken out of the equation and replaced with perfect love! 💙💚💛💜

Why Study the Past?

One of the textbooks I am reading for one of my classes is called, "Why Study the Past; the Quest for the Historical Church."

There are many things that stood out to me as I was reading, but I'm just going to share a couple of points from the text.

The Bible, in its original language, should be read as expressing what God does for us. For example, when we hear of the wisdom of God in the Bible, we think of how God's actions make us wise, and when we hear of God's justice we should think of that act by which He makes us just. God is free to do what He wills, and His freedom takes the form of acting so as to change us.

Lastly, William Tyndale poses this question, "What is it to recognize in the concrete circumstances of one's own prosperity or welfare the presence of divine action?"
Tyndale suggests that to recognize that the apparent static things that secure our prosperity are carriers of God's love. Therefore, they cannot sit still with us, they must not be prevented from being active signs of love. When we try to hold on to them, we make empty our claims to be dependent on God for our spiritual security, because we implicitly deny that God is active in all of His gifts.

"Dunkirk"

I went with a friend of mine to see the movie, "Dunkirk." I can't say I totally understood the whole movie, but it was excellent. 

The acting and cinematography were phenomenal! 

I had never known the history of Dunkirk and the role it played in World War II. 

It was a very intense and beautiful movie! I highly recommend it!

Now I'm going to Google search it and hopefully fill in whatever pieces of the movie I didn't comprehend! 😋

NTS

I started Nazarene Theological Seminary on Monday. I am going for my master's in Theological Studies.

I am taking two classes this semester; "Critical Developments in the History of Christianity," and "Seminar in Theological Methods and Research."

I am enjoying it so far. We have online forums for each of our classes where we reply to a question from the professor, and post a reply to two other students' posts. It's so cool to hear what God has called each of these students to do. Some have been called to plant churches, some have been called to be pastors. One student is in an organization for Christian motorcyclists.

Throughout these courses, not only will I be involved in academia, but I also have the opportunity to fellowship with other believers.

Religion vs The Gospel

Yesterday, I attended the first of two Covenant Membership classes at Bridgeway Church. The Pastors gave each of us a handout written by Timothy Keller, where he outlines the differences between religion vs The Gospel. I think it's a great reference to have.

1.) Religion- "I obey; therefore I'm accepted."
     Gospel- "I'm accepted; therefore I obey."

2.) Religion- Motivation is based on fear and insecurity.
     Gospel- Motivation is based on grateful joy.

3.) Religion- I obey God in order to get things from God.
     Gospel- I obey to resemble God.

4.) Religion- When circumstances in my life go wrong, I am angry at God or myself, since I believe, like Job's friends, that anyone who is good deserves a comfortable life.
     Gospel- When circumstances in my life go wrong, I struggle, but I know that while God may allow this for my training, he will exercise his fatherly love within my trial.

5.) Religion- When I am criticized, I am furious or devastated because it is essential for me to think of myself as a "good person."
     Gospel- When I am criticized, I struggle, but it is not essential for me to think of myself as a "good person." My identity is not built on my performance but on God's love for me in Christ.

6.) Religion- My prayer life consists largely of petition and only heats up when I am in need. My main purpose is to control my circumstances.
     Gospel- My prayer life consists of generous amounts of praise and adoration. My main purpose is fellowship with him.

7.) Religion-My self-view swings between two poles. If and when I am living up to my standards, I feel confident, but then I am prone to be proud and unsympathetic to people who fail. If and when I am not living up to my standards, I feel humble but not confident-I feel like a failure.
     Gospel- My self-view is not based on a view of myself as a moral achiever. In Christ I am at once sinful and lost, yet accepted. I am so bad he had to die for me, and so loved he was glad to die for me.

8.) Religion- My identity is based mainly on how hard I work or how moral I am, so I must look down on those I perceive as lazy or immoral. I disdain and feel superior to others.
      Gospel- My identity is centered on the One who died for his enemies, including me. Only by sheer grace am I what I am, so I can't look down on those who believe or practice something different from me. I have no inner need to win an argument.

9.) Religion- Since I look to my pedigree or performance for my spiritual acceptability,my heart manufactures idols. They are my main hope, meaning, happiness, security, and significance.
     Gospel- I have many good things in life-family, work, etc., but none of these good things are ultimate things to me. I don't absolutely have to have them, so there is a limit to how much anxiety, bitterness and despair they can inflict on me when they are threatened or lost.

Sermon

Today's sermon was from Revelation 5:1-14. I am so loving this sermon series over the book of Revelation!

Here are some of the main points I took away from today's sermon:

In verse 4, John weeps because there is no one worthy to open the scroll or to even look inside of it. However, in verse 5, one of the elders tells John to stop weeping, because there is One who is worthy.

The One who is worthy appears to John as a lion (verse 5), then as a lamb (verse 6).

The death of Jesus qualifies him to break the seals and reveal the content of the scroll, because as verse 9 makes clear, by means of his "blood" alone, people from every tribe and language and nation are "ransomed" from sin and condemnation.

God's Love of Ethnic Diversity

God loves ethnic diversity as is evident from the purpose of Christ's sinless life, substitutionary death, and bodily resurrection. God's aim is to have a redeemed bride for his Son from "every tribe and language and people and nation" ( verse 9b).

** The events in Charlottesville last week are not so much a hatred of a particular people group, but a hatred of God and a denial of the glory of God in creating every single human being in his image. 

The Adoration of the Lion and the Lamb

In Revelation 5:5 Jesus is called "the Lion of the tribe of Judah," but in Revelation 5:6, Jesus is also portrayed as the "Lamb." It is this juxtaposition of contrasting images that the answer is found to what makes Jesus worthy of our adoration and praise. Pastor Storms gave a page and a half of these seemingly contrasting images. Here are just a few:

The Lion who wields power and strength that none can resist is also the Lamb who walked the earth in weakness and suffering, resisting none.

The Lion who is known for his uncompromising commitment to righteousness is also the Lamb who overflows in love to sinners like you and me.

The Lion who could silence a raging storm with a single word is also the Lamb who refused to speak or revile against those who nailed him to a cross.

The Lion who is life itself is also the Lamb who willingly dies for his enemies.

The Lion who drove the robbers and thieves out of the Temple is also the Lamb who only days later allowed those very robbers and thieves to nail him to a cross.

The Lion who commands absolute obedience from his creatures is also the Lamb who in obedience honored every command of his Father.

Jesus is at one and the same time a Lion-like-Lamb and a Lamb-like Lion without any inconsistency or contradiction.

Book Excerpt

Here is a random gobbet from my book.

In August of 1986, while I was working at my dad's store, I spotted an extremely handsome man, who was a sales representative for Nabisco. I pursued him, and for a very long time would have considered him to be the love of my life.
Joe Whitmarsh would come into AMC several times a week to stock the Nabisco shelves. I knew right away that he was considerably older than I was, but I was only fixated on how cute he was. When I would see Joe walk in, I would make my way over to the Nabisco section of the grocery department. We would talk and boldly flirt with each other. He told me he was 26 years old, but that did not dissuade me in the least. However, when I told him I was 16, he was initially hesitant.
Still, I was so bold that I gave him my phone number and told him to call me.
Once he got past his initial hesitation, we started dating. After the first date, I felt an immediate attachment to him.We talked every evening, and I would spend Friday and Saturday evenings at his apartment. We really couldn't go out in public for fear of exposure. I was able to keep the relationship a secret from my parents for a year.
Almost exactly a year after we started dating, Joe called me one evening, and told me he had met a woman in his apartment complex, whom he really liked. He told me he thought we should see other people. I had a complete meltdown. This gave birth to a new obsession; getting Joe back.
It was like Fatal Attraction Part 2. I would drive past his apartment and call him several times a day. When none of that worked, I spiraled into full blown anorexia.

Scripture verse:
"In my distress I called to the Lord, and he answered me. From the depths of the grave I called for help, and you listened to my cry" (Jonah 2:1).

Self-discipline vs Self-control

In the bible study I am doing, "The Weight of Grace", the author asks the us to read the Addendum that is in the back of the book titled, "Self-Disciplined Religion", by Malcolm Smith.

Malcolm Smith describes the difference between self-discipline and self-control. I thought it was very compelling and I wanted to share a few bullet points from the article.

Self-discipline:

• Self-discipline is an imposition. It comes from the outside. I impose or let someone else impose a certain law upon me.
• It's an imposition upon my inner desires, my inner lusts. I will do what I am "supposed" to do. I grit my teeth and say I won't do this or that. I'm going to twist my arm, and make myself do what I don't want to do. 
• Self-discipline is about, "you should," you must," and "you ought."
• The Pharisees were into self-discipline. They were all about appearance. They shared that in common with every other religion in the world. Jesus went to the Pharisees of His day and in Matthew 23 He says, "You blind Pharisees, first clean the inside of the cup and of the dish, so that the outside of it may become clean also."
• Self-discipline is an action of the flesh; the desire to live independently from God.

Self-control:

• Self-control is listening to the Holy Spirit. It is not a law imposed on me from the outside. It's listening to who I now am in Christ.
• When the flesh calls me, I say, "You are not me. You have been crucified with Christ. I am not confessing this to make it happen. I am confessing it because it has already happened.
• Self-control is about living out who I really am. It's not changing my flesh. That's already been crucified. It's exchanging. I exchange and let Christ live.
• Self-control is a response to the voice of the Spirit within.

Titus 2:11-12 says, "For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation to all men. It teaches us to say 'no' to ungodliness and wordly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age" (emphasis mine).

Sermon

Today's sermon was from Revelation 4:1-11. It was entitled "Enthroned, Encircled, Extolled"! It was an amazing sermon!

What is happening in heaven right now? Literally, John was given a vision that answers this question, and the portrait it provides is as true today as it was nearly 2000 years ago.

Enthroned:

In Revelation 4:3 we see God in a resplendent blaze of unapproachable light, the jewels refracting the glory and majesty of God's luminous beauty.

• The One on the throne has the appearance of jasper,  an opaque stone that is usually red, but can be yellow, green, and grayish blue. It suggests the quality of majesty and holiness and is used later in Revelation as an image for the overall appearanace of the New Jerusalem, which manifests the glory of God (21:11).
• The sardius , or carnelian was a red stone that evokes the image of both divine jealousy and righteous wrath.
• The rainbow reminds us of the faithfulness of God when He first set this sign in the heavens as a pledge to Noah following the great flood.

** John was not saying that God is a jasper or a sardius, but that His appearance was like such precious stones.


Encircled:

In John's vision the throne of God is, as it should be, at the center of all heavenly activity. The throne is the focus of a series of concentric circles made up first of a rainbow, then a circle of the four living creatures, then a circle of the 24 thrones which the 24 elders sit. A great host of angels also encircled the throne (Revelation 5:11, 7:11), and eventually all creation joins the worshipping throng (Revelation 5:13)

The description of the four living creatures may be designed to suggest qualities in the God they serve: the lion pointing to royal power; the calf/ox, a symbol of strength; the man, an expression of intelligence and spirituality; and the eagle, an embodiment of swiftness and action.


Extolled:

The word "worship" means to fall prostrate at someone's feet. The elders fell down before God, because it was the only reasonable and sensible thing to do! They fall because they are overwhelmed!

Why do the four living creatures not cease day or night from praising? What else could compare with the joy of unending adoration and delight in the splendor of God? It is not an expression of mere "duty". It's that nothing can compete in its capacity to fascinate and fulfill and satisfy and entrance them.

Practical takeaway:
 *** Spiritually stunned people are not easily seduced by sin. People in awe of God will always find sin less appealing. When you are dazzled by God it is difficult to be duped by sin. When you are enthralled by His beauty it is hard to become enslaved by unrighteousness. People whose attention has been captured by the beauty of Christ find little appeal in the glamour of this world. People whose hearts are enthralled with the revelation of God's greatness turn a deaf ear to the otherwise alluring sounds of sin, the flesh, and the Devil.

Great night!

Tonight, I hung out with my friend Amy. It was such a wonderful evening!
We both struggle with food and weight and we openly shared about the journey that we are on to experience freedom over compulsive overeating.
As usual, we also laughed hysterically! When we were ordering dinner, we were laughing so hard that we couldn't even get the words out for what we wanted to order.
We ended the evening by watching the movie "The Help". For those who haven't seen " The Help" it is definitely worth watching.

All in all, it was an evening spent doing everything you would hope to do with a close friend; sharing, laughing and relaxing.

Scripture verse:
"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to weep and a time to laugh" (Ecclesiastes 3:1&4).

Scholarship

I found out today that I received a scholarship from Nazarene Theological Seminary! I am very excited!
They told me, because of the quality of my submission material, that I qualify for a scholarship.
I was concerned, because private universities are very expensive, but God provided even more than what I needed.
I do not need to worry, because God is faithful and always provides for His own!  Thank you Father for your provision! Help me to overcome my unbelief!

Scripture verse:
"Therefore, I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life" ( Matthew 6:25-27)?

Psalm 55 and Reed

Part of the homework for my Bible study is to read Psalm 55 and identify the four steps of "REED" as experienced by the Psalmist.
This is how I interpreted the Psalm in relation to "REED".

R (recognize the emotions)
David felt distraught, anguish, fear, hurt, and gratitude.
E ( express emotions to God)
David tells God he is distraught, and he expresses hurt about being betrayed by a friend. David tells God how scared he is. Finally, David expresses his love and gratitude for God's provision and holiness.
E ( evaluate what the emotions are saying about one's thoughts and beliefs).
At first, David wants vengeance, but ultimately he trusts God truth as his authority.
D ( decide to replace lies with God's truth)
David voices the truth about God; that God hears his voice; God ransoms him; God is enthroned forever; God sustains, and brings down the wicked. David ends the Psalm by saying, " I trust you".

Scripture verse:
"Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall. But as for me, I trust in you" ( Psalm 55:22&23b).

Reconciliation and Today's Sermon

Around 3 years ago, one of my neighbors got angry at me. Not only would she not speak to me, she wouldn't even look at me.
This morning, I was walking Sam the same time she was out walking. Her and I walked together and talked, and even laughed. It felt like such a burden had been lifted, and now we can have an amicable relationship without any contention. Praise God!
I can love because God first loved me ( 1John 4:19).

Today's sermon was from Revelation 3:14-22.
The letter was addressed to the church in Laodicea. This church had massive spiritual problems and called forth the most stringent and stinging rebuke yet issued by the Lord.
The Lord's diagnosis of the problem in Laodicea is two-fold. First, there moral and religious tepidity in the church, and second, there is prideful self-sufficiency.
The Lord uses the words cold, hot and lukewarm. People typically believe that by "hot" Jesus is referring to zealous, lively, hard working Christians, and that by "cold" He is referring to lifeless pagans devoid of any spiritual life.
However, in all likelihood, "hot"refers to the medicinal waters of Hierapolis ( 6 miles north of Laodicea), whose "hot springs" reached 95 degrees. The word "cold" points to the refreshing waters of Colossae ( 12 miles east).

The church was not being rebuked for its spiritual temperature but for the barrenness of its works. The church was providing neither refreshment for the spiritually weary( portrayed through the imagery of the "cold" water from Colossae), nor healing for the spiritually sick ( portrayed through the imagery of "hot" water from Hierapolis). The church was simply ineffective. That is why Jesus says He would prefer the church to be "cold" rather than "lukewarm".

But there is still hope. Jesus says, " I counsel you to buy from me gold refined by fire, so that you may be rich, and white garments so that you may clothe yourself and the shame of your nakedness may not be seen, and salve to anoint your eyes, so that you may see" ( Revelation 3:18).
It is precisely because Jesus loves His people that He refuses to tolerate their lukewarm indifference towards spiritual matters.
Revelation 3:19 confirms this, "Those whom I love, I reprove and discipline, so be zealous and repent".
Lastly, Revelation 3:21 says, " To him who overcomes, I will give the right to sit with me on my throne".
I am enthroned with Christ because He died for me and poured out the love of God into my heart through the Spirit who was given to me ( Romans 5:5). Thank you Lord!!

Great New Restaurant

My friend Connie and I went to a relatively new restaurant called Salata.
It is on 122nd and MacArthur. It's the same concept as Cool Greens, except  Salata offers quite a few more toppings than Cool Greens.
If you live close to the area, and appreciate a high quality salad, check it out!

**The pricing is comparable to Cool Greens.

Accountability and Friendship

Today, I had lunch with one of my closest friends and accountability partner, Susie Howell.

Having her as my friend and accountability partner has been a gift from God.

I can tell her anything, and I know I will get wise godly counsel without a hint of judgement.

A few years ago, I did the 12 steps of recovery through my church. Two of the steps are making a fearless moral inventory ( step 4), and confessing all of your wrongdoings to God and another person ( step 5).
I did my 5th step with Susie. I had led a very immoral and sinful life, and I confessed every detail of it to Susie. It took hours, but she just sat listening with loving patience.
It is so freeing to have at least one person who you can reveal your entire self to, and there will be no judgement. There is only godly direction, and the  imparting of Biblical truths.
Having an accountability partner is also Biblical concept. Please
Galatians 6:2 says, "Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ."
James 5:16 says, "Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed."

God commands us to carry each other's burdens to confess our sins to each other.

In order to live by the Holy Spirit, it is imperative to have accountability. God did not intend for us to journey through this life on our own.

Book

Here is a random gobbet from my book:
I attended first grade at a Catholic school called Christ the King. It was traumatizing. My teacher was a nun. Her name was Miss Sister Bernard.
Many people probably envision a nun as sweet, gentle and gracious. Miss Sister Bernard was the polar opposite. She played against every stereotypical image that one might have of a nun. She was mean, angry and violent.
She hit her students on a regular basis. Also, after recess, we would come back into the school building, and line up by the water fountain. Even on very hot days, Miss Sister Bernard would yell, "Only two or three sips!" If we tried to take an extra sip, she would either yell at us or swat us on the behind.
The most terrifying day of my first grade year happened around the middle of the school year. One of the boys in my class and myself had to stay after school to finish an art project. The boy's name was David Brou, and he was handicapped. He wore coke bottle thick eyeglasses, and had already been through a number of surgeries to try to repair various physical defects.
David and I were sitting at a table working on our art projects, and Miss Sister Bernard was sitting at her desk at the front of the classroom. David was making a stick-like figure out of construction paper. When David couldn't find the "eye" he had made out of the construction paper, he began to cry very hard and very loud. Miss Sister Bernard got up from her desk, dragged David into the boys restroom, and started beating him.
I sat in my chair frozen in fear, while listening to his screams of pain and terror as Miss Sister Bernard hit him over and over again.

Scripture Verse:
"I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty" ( 2 Corinthians 6:18).

"REED," and "The Norm."

Yesterday, I texted my sisters to tell them my aunt had been sick. One of my sisters responded back with an angry text and the other one didn't respond back at all.

So, I decided today to practice "REED" with the emotions that were conjured up by what happened yesterday.

REED is an acronym that stands for Recognize, Express, Evaluate , and Decide.

Recognize- I felt angry and hurt

Express- I wrote a letter to God telling Him how hurt and angry I was about what happened. I poured my heart out and didn't edit my words. Then, I thanked Him that I can approach His throne of grace anytime to receive grace and mercy in my time of need.

Evaluate ( This is where you write down what thought and beliefs underlie the emotions you are feeling)-
"I want to do something to retaliate."
"I can't trust God to take care of this."
"I need to protect myself."
"Humility is synonymous with weakness."

Decide ( This is where you decide to replace your erroneous thinking with God's truth)-
I wrote a letter thanking God that I have the mind of Christ. I thanked Him that He empowered me to respond to Allison's angry text with kindness ( something that I would not have done in the past). I told God that I am choosing to believe Him, and take all my thoughts captive to the obedience of Christ.

When I was doing my Bible study this morning, something that stood out to me is what the author refers to as "the norm."
She says this, "God has given all believers the grace to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives. This is the norm. It is normal and natural to do what is right for yourself physically and to be moderate and godly in your behavior.
"Meeting your needs in your own way is a definition of the "flesh," and living in the flesh is a departure from what is normal for a Christian. Living in the Spirit is the norm for 'new creations in Christ'. The Spirit indwells us  and brings forth fruit in our lives. One of the fruits listed in Galatians 5:22-23 is self-control. Unlike what many of us believe it is not normal for the Christian to be out of control regarding food and eating."

This was very illuminating. I have always thought that living a life of moderation and self-control was not the norm, and something that I had to fight to achieve. However, for the Christian, moderation and self-control is the norm.
When I live a life that lacks control, that is in direct contradiction to my new nature. However when I practice control and moderation that is a manifestation of my new identity in Christ.

Because I have struggled with food addiction almost my whole life, I assumed that that's what's normal. In reality, self-control and moderation is what's normal and natural for the believer.

Returning To True Hunger

In the Bible study, "The Weight of Grace," the author describes 3 "layers" of issues with one "bedrock" factor underlying the reason women overeat.

• The first layer, which is the most obvious layer, is food/dieting. This is the layer that most women tend to believe is the "real issue," and where the they usually concentrate their greatest efforts to "solve the problem" of overeating.
• The layer below is eating to "medicate" emotions. This is a deeper, less obvious layer. Here, food is used to comfort, distract from, suppress, or calm unpleasant emotions.
• The layer below that is the need to stay large/fat. This is the deepest, most overlooked layer. This is the layer that most women have no idea exists, but women who overeat have deeply held beliefs about themselves and what it means to be "fat" or "thin" that serve as tremendous motivators for their overeating, canceling out even the strongest desire to be thin.

Until about a year ago, I didn't give much thought to the need to stay fat. Staying fat is a form of protection for me. When I have been thin, I have done terrible things and terrible things were done to me. So as much as I desire to be thin, thinness is also very closely related to danger for me. When I am fat, I don't take as many risks, and disqualify myself from many activities. As a result, this self-imposed seclusion protects me from danger.

 The author also explains the "bedrock factor." This is our relationship with God, and our understanding of his character and intimate, loving involvement with our struggles, even struggles with overeating and being overweight. Seeing God as a participant in each layer of issues is crucial to experiencing healing and freedom.

I have become acutely aware that my fear of being thin is not that I don't trust myself, but that I don't trust God. I don't trust what He says about me; that I am a brand new creation ( 2 Cor. 5:17), that I am seated with Christ in the heavenlies ( Eph. 2:6), that I have incomparably great power because I believe( Eph. 1:19), and that I am no longer a slave to sin but to righteousness( Romans 6:18). Moreover, I lack trust in what God says about Himself: He is my hiding place and will protect me from trouble ( Psalm 32:7), He satisfies my desires with good things ( Psalm 103:5), God is greater than the one who is in the world ( 1 John 4:4b), and that Christ came to give me abundant life ( John 10:10).

There is a difference between believing God and believing in God. Scripture says, "Even the demons believe in God and shudder" ( James 2:19). Do I believe what God says or just merely believe in Him?

Although I don't always believe what God says about Himself and about me, it doesn't make what He says any less true. I am going to continue to pray that  God's truth would be my authority, instead of my circumstances or how I feel.

Sermon

Today's sermon was a continuation of Revelation 3:7-13.

The title was, "The Power of Identity."

To the one who conquers, Jesus says, "I will make him a pillar in the temple of my God. Never shall he go out of it, and I will write on him the name of my God, and the name of the city of my God, the new Jerusalem, which comes down from my God out of heaven, and my own new name. He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches" ( Rev. 3:12-13).

We are God's Temple.

• The imagery of the individual Christian and the corporate church as the temple of God is a familiar one in Scripture:

1 Cor. 3:16 says, "Do you not know that you are God's temple and that God's Spirit dwells in you? If anyone destroys God's temple, God will destroy him. For God's temple is holy, and you are that temple."

See also; 1 Cor. 6:19, Eph. 2:21-22 and 1 Peter 2:4-5.

• This language is probably a metaphor of eternal salvation.Special emphasis may be on the security of our position as God's dwelling place in view of assurance "never shall he go out of it."

The Life-Changing Power of Knowing Who You Are.

• Christians often struggle with a sense of identity. 
• Virtually every assault and accusation of Satan is grounded in his effort to convince us we are not who God declares we are.
• If I am able to to rest securely in who I am in Christ, an identity forged by forgiveness not failure, by his goodness rather than mine, I am enveloped in a veritable fortress of strength and protective love.No assault, accusation or inclination will prevail. I am who he says I am by virtue of what he has done and will do.

To illustrate the transforming power of a renewed awareness of one's identity, Pastor Storms showed us a short clip from the movie, "Blood Diamond." Needless to say, I can't wait to see the movie!

Pastor Storms set up the scene. It is set in Sierra Leone,Africa. The country has been ravaged by political unrerst. There is a rebel faction known as Revolutionary United Front ( or RUF).

Soloman Vandy is a native fisherman. Soloman's young son, Dia is captured and brainwashed by the RUF, and has been turned into a vicious fighter.

In one of the final scenes, Dia pulls a gun on his father to kill him, but Soloman speaks to him and awakens Dia to his true identity. This is what Soloman says to Dia:

"Dia. What are you doing? Dia. Look at me. What are you doing? You are Dia Vandy, of the proud Mende tribe. You are a good boy who loves soccer and school. Your mother loves you so much. She waits by the fire making plantains and red palm oil stew, with your sister N'yanda. And the new baby. The cows wait for you, and Babu the wild dog who minds no one but you. I know they made you do bad things. But you are not a bad boy. I am your father who loves you. You will come home with me and be my son again."

Once Dia realizes who he really is, he falls into his father's arms and begins to cry. When I saw that scene I started crying as well. It is a beautiful illustration of our Heavenly Father reminding us of our true identity. You are a child of the Most High God who loves you, who wants you to come home with him, and be his son and daughter, once again.

Identity governs behavior. You will always behave in accordance with who you believe you are.

Emotions

I am working on actually feeling my emotions, especially uncomfortable ones such as anger, fear, hurt and loneliness, instead of attempting to avoid them or "medicate" them.
In this week's Bible study, the author says, "When we go ahead and feel the emotion and talk about it with God, rather than trying to avoid it, we actually get through it and over it because God's desire is to become intimately involved in our concerns and show us His love."
The goal is to not be afraid of feeling and expressing our emotions, while not allowing them to be more of an authority in our life than God's truth.

There is an acronym that Scope Ministries uses in relation to our emotions. It is REED.
The 'R' stands for "Recognize." Recognize and verbalize how you feel.
The first 'E' stands for "Express." Express your emotions to God. Avoid turning the emotion inward and imploding, and avoid turning the emotion outward towards others and exploding.
The second 'E' stands for "Evaluate." What do your emotions tell you about your thoughts and beliefs?
The 'D' stands for "Decide." We are to decide to replace our thinking and behavior with God's instruction and truth.

There are a few important points that Scope Ministries emphasize.
1. Emotions are morally neutral. No emotion is inherently sinful. But how we choose to respond to our emotions can be sinful. Ephesians 4:26 says, "Be angry and yet do not sin..." It does not say do not be angry or that anger is a sin. Instead, when we are angry, do not turn it into sin.
2. Emotions express God's character. Jesus felt every single emotion, including anger, grief, hurt and fear.
3. Emotions become messy when they seem more real to us than God's word. Do my emotions, or God's Word, act as my authority?

Lies vs Truth

This past week in my Bible study, "The Weight of Grace," I prayed for God to reveal the lies I am believing about food, weight and God. I then wrote the lies I am believing on one side of the paper and then wrote the corresponding truth next to each lie. Here is some of what God revealed to me:

1. Lie- I need food to comfort me when I am angry, lonely, scared or hurt
    Truth- "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort who comforts me in all my troubles" (2 Cor. 1:3&4a).

2. Lie- Sitting through temptation is too difficult.
    Truth- "No temptation has seized me except that which is common to man, and God is faithful. He will not let me be tempted beyond what I can bear, and when tempted he will provide a way out so that I can stand up under it" (1 Cor. 10:13).

3. Lie- I can't trust that God will protect me if I lose weight.
    Truth- "The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold" (Psalm 18:2).

4. Lie- Being thin/losing weight makes me a success.
    Truth- My worth is based on what Jesus did for me on the cross.

5. Lie- I will never be free from compulsive overeating.
    Truth- I am no longer a slave to sin, because anyone who has died has been freed from sin (Romans 6:6b&7).
     Truth- "It is for freedom that Christ has set me free" (Galatians 5:1).

6. Lie- Food fills the void that is inside of me.
    Truth- God satisfies my desires with good things (Psalm 103:5).

7. Lie- God is not sufficient to meet my needs.
    Truth- God's grace is sufficient for me. His power is made perfect in my weakness (2 Cor. 12:9a).

8. Lie- I don't know how to not either diet or compulsively overeat.
    Truth- "If I lack wisdom, I should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to me" (James 1:5).

9. Lie- Being fat protects me because I don't take as many risks when I am fat.
    Truth- "God is my hiding place. He will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance" (Psalm 32:7).

10. Lie- Men do not look twice at fat women.
      Truth- True godly men find women lovely because of Christ living inside of them.

11. Lie- I am not acceptable like this.
      Truth- "For God chose me in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. God predestined me to be adopted as his daughter through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will" (Ephesians 1:4&5).

Sermon

The sermon this morning was from Revelation 3:7-13. It's entitled, "The Church of Little Power."
Here are some points that stood out to me:

1. When Jesus says that the church in Philadelphia has "but little power" (Revelation 3:8), it's a commendation. Having little power isn't always good, but having little power also isn't always bad.
2. In verse 9, Jesus says, "Your lack of resources, money, and manpower proved no obstacle to your accomplishing great things for the kingdom of God."
3. The Philadelphian believers did more than simply not deny the name of Jesus. They loudly and proudly proclaimed Him as "the Holy One!"
4. The greatness of a church is not measured by the size of its congregation, but by the size of the Savior.

         Jesus, the Keeping King:
A. The notion that any Christian is assured of special protection from trials, tribulations, and persecution is unbiblical.
B. The trial or tribulation that is coming is designed for the judgement of unbelievers, not Christians.
C. The promise is for spiritual protection in the midst of physical tribulation.
D. Pretribulationists typically think that the only way God's people can be spiritually protected from the outpouring of divine wrath is by being physically removed from the.  earth. However, John 17:15 stands in opposition to this, "I do not ask that you take them out of the world, but that you keep them from the evil one." In this text, "keep from" is actually contrasted with the notion of physical removal. Jesus does not pray that the Father physically take them out of the world, but that the Father "keep them from"  Satan's effort to destroy their spiritual life.
E. It is in remaining faithful unto death that our greatest victory is achieved, not in being "raptured" to safety.

Apologetics Group

We had our Apologetics group today at Java Dave's. I had never been to Java Dave's before. It is a very cute coffee shop in Downtown Edmond.
We had a new man in our group today. We talked about morality, the reliability of science, and how to prove the reliability of the Gospels. We discussed the archaeological evidence in support of the Gospels and the possibility of actually using science to argue (unproven) scientific data.
We also threw out some ideas about how to reach middle school and high school students. Many times, students walk away from the faith when they enter college. Universities are notoriously liberal. College students who express their faith in Christ and declare the authority of Scripture, can be made to feel foolish. They can be ostracized for standing firm in the faith and not conforming to the world's standards.
I remember when I took Political and Social Philosophy a few years ago. I was the only student in the class who believed in Creation. Every other student and the professor believed in evolution. When I openly shared what I believe, I was ostracized by the other students and the professor.
They declared my belief in Creation to be illogical and lacking evidence.
It was so intimidating that I didn't attempt to make a defense for what I believe.
If we can reach students before they enter college, they will be better equipped to handle any opposition that will invariably come their way.

Scripture verse:
"Be merciful to those who doubt" Jude 22.

Book

I completed the first draft of my book! I met with my publisher today and it is ready to go for editing! I'm excited! It's been emotionally taxing but also very cathartic.

Here is a random gobbett from chapter 2:

It was August of 1986 and my friend Ashley was turning 16. Ashley's parents paid for her and several of her friends to go to the Van Halen concert.
Soon after arriving at the concert my friend Shannon and I started getting bored, so we started walking the concert hallways asking random guys if they had any pot. We kept getting turned down, until one guy told us that he didn't have any pot, but he did have acid. He offered to give us some at no cost, and we eagerly accepted.
The acid looked like a stamp. They guy told us to only take half of it ,at first, to see how it affected us. Shannon and I tore our "stamp" in half and swallowed it. We were both disappointed when we didn't immediately feel any sort of high, so we swallowed the last half of the "stamp."
A few minutes later the acid kicked in. At first it was glorious. The floor felt like it was moving up and down, and we were sort of just floating. It was like a dreamy alternate state of reality. Out of nowhere, my wonderfully groovy trip took on a malevolent form.
I felt like I was going out of my mind. My brain felt like it was going to explode, and everywhere I looked people were disintegrating into skeletons before eventually melting into a pool of nothingness.
I don't remember how our friends got Shannon and I into the car. By that time my hallucinations had become so sinister, that I started screaming at the top of my lungs.

Scripture verse:
"You, dear children, are from God and have overcome, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world" (1John 4:4).

The Right Time

This morning I was reading John 7:1-8.
Jesus' brothers told Jesus He ought to go to Judea so that His disciples could see His miracles.
Jesus replied, "The right time for me has not yet come; for you anytime is right" (verse 6).
Jesus knew there were many influential people who hated Him and wanted to kill Him. The more openly Jesus taught, the greater chance of Him being killed. Jesus knew that it was not yet time for Him to die.

I thought about how excruciating that must be for Jesus, not to just know He was going to die, but to also wait on His Father's timing, and subsequently plan every detail of His life accordingly. This brought to mind a couple of things; how much Jesus trusted His Father, and how intimately connected they were.

I thought about how this applied to my own life. There have been so many times when I have thought that a particular situation called for immediate action. A situation presented itself and instead of prayerfully considering the right time (God's time) I hastily and rashly chose to act.
I want to trust God more and deepen my intimacy with Him so that my actions are in line with the leading of the Holy Spirit.
Throughout the Gospels, Jesus demonstrates a life that is completely dependent on the Father's perfect timing.

He Knows Your Name!

Here is the second half of yesterday's sermon:

1. In Revelation 3:5b Jesus says, "I will confess his name before my Father and before his angels."
This is a joyful and heartfelt proclamation to the Father and the myriads of angelic beings: He's mine! She belongs to me! They are worthy! "
These names are on his lips because they are first in his heart.
2. Revelation 3:5 says, "I will confess his name" (singular), so evidently Jesus will speak each of our names individually.
3. Following the resurrection of Jesus, Mary Magdalene stood outside the tomb weeping. Turning around, she saw Jesus but did not know if was him. Jesus said to her, "Woman why are you weeping? Whom are you seeking?" Thinking he was the gardener, she said to him, "Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have laid him, and I will take him away."
Then Jesus said to her, "Mary!" She turned to Jesus and said to him in Aramaic, "Rabboni," which means Teacher ( John 20:14b-16).

This lady understood the difference between being called "Woman" and being called "Mary." This woman who at one time was indwelt and tormented by seven demons (Luke 8:2),filled with shame and reproach, hears the sweetest and most comforting word imaginable, her name: "Mary!"
But if wasn't the name so much as the man on whose lips it was willfully and happily found: Jesus!
"He knows my name! He remembers
me! I am not an embarrassment to him.  He's not ashamed of me!"

4. Envision standing in the blazing presence of the unfathomable God, an all consuming fire, the God of infinite and unending glory.
Small and weak as you are, Jesus takes hold of your hand and leads you before his Father and the gaze of myriads of angels. Then he proudly, happily, confidently and joyfully declares, "Father, Tara (fill in your own name) is mine! I am hers! She is clothed in white! I've paid her debt. I suffered the penalty. She is clean. She is pure. She is in me and I am in her. Tara is righteous!"
He knows my name!!

Sermon

Today's sermon was entitled; "Written Down in the Lamb's Book of Life: The Real Reason to Rejoice."
It was a continuation on Revelation 3:1-6.

Here are some very thought provoking points that stood out to me:

1. In what do you take deepest delight? What is it that brings the greatest and most intense joy and happiness to your heart?

2. In Luke 10:17, the 72 disciples, who Jesus sent out, exclaimed with joy, "Lord, even the demons are subject to us in your name!"
Jesus responds in Luke 10:20, "Nevertheless, do not rejoice in this,that the spirits are subject to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven."
Jesus isn't saying that it is wrong to rejoice that we have authority over demons. His point is that compared with having your name written down in heaven exercising authority over demons is next to nothing.

3. The promise in Revelation 3:5 is, "The one who conquers will be clothed in white garments, and I will never blot his name out of the book of life."

4. The "book" that Jesus mentions has several possible meanings:
a. In the Old Testament, God's book had reference to the rights of citizenship for the Jewish people.
b. The concept of a "book" was also used to portray God's all inclusive decree (Psalm 139:16), the very days of one's life are ordained and written in God's "book" before one of them occurs.
c. There is also the notion of "books" of judgement in which are recorded men's deeds. They serve as that by which or from which one shall be judged ( Rev. 2:20; Daniel 7:10).
d. The most accurate meaning of the concept of "book" as it is written in Revelation 3:1-6, is the register of those who have been chosen for salvation from eternity past.

5. You don't believe in Jesus in order that your name will be written in the book. You believe in Jesus because your name has already been written down in the book.

6. God has chosen not to reveal to us the names written in the Lamb's book of life. It is none of our business. None of us deserve to have his/her name written down in God's book. We all deserve eternal damnation. The only explanation for why a sinner has his/her name written in the Lamb's book of life before the foundation of the world is because God is gracious and merciful and wishes to provide his Son with a Bride that will enjoy his glorious presence and love for eternity. Had God not chosen to inscribe anyone's name in his book, he would have done no one an injustice.

It is important that we do not become so fixated on why we are written in the Lamb's book of life, whether it is predestination ( Calvinism) or freewill, that we forget to drop to our knees and praise and thank God just for the simple fact that we are written in his book of life.

Friendship

Tonight I hung out with my friend Amy. Amy is one of my most favorite people.
Whenever we hang out, we just eat, watch a movie and laugh. In fact, every time we spend time together I laugh so hard that my face turns beet red and tears stream down my face! We also have deep meaningful conversations where we share our hurts and struggles.
It's such an easy comfortable relationship that in all the years we have been friends, we have never had an argument of any kind.

It's easy for me to forgot that I have a comfortable and accessible friendship in Jesus Christ. I still get into a pattern of thinking that I need to perform, in some way, in order to gain His approval. That is a lie. Jesus has already done all the work on the cross. Jesus said in Matthew 11:29, "Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls."
Jesus just wants me to accept his unconditional love, acceptance, and yes, friendship.

Scripture verse:
"I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you" (John 15:15).

Duke Moment

There are times in our lives that grief and sadness can seem all-encompassing. However, even in the midst of seemingly unbearable grief, God will reveal His loving presence.
I like to call these moments "Duke Moments."
Here is an example, and also an excerpt from my book.
After Shawn, Mike and I took the twins to the adoptive parents home in Tulsa, Oklahoma, we drove back to Hastings, Nebraska. I was consumed by grief. The car had a somber quality about it, without the joyful noise of the twins.
We arrived back in Nebraska around 6p.m. Shawn invited me to stay at her house that night, which I eagerly accepted.
The Bramble's (Shawn's  family) had a yellow Lab named Duke, whom I absolutely adored. In my eyes, there was not a sweeter or more gentle dog than Duke.
However, when Shawn's husband Tom came home, he proceeded to tell us a story about Duke that had happened earlier that day.
I guess Duke absolutely hated the mailman, and that afternoon when the mailman was walking around their neighborhood delivering the mail, Duke saw him, and started chasing after him while ferociously barking and growling.
Tom said the mailman started sprinting backwards (so he could keep an eye on Duke), in an attempt to escape Duke's wrath.
The thought of my beloved Duke acting so vicious, and the picture in my head of the poor mailman running backwards made me laugh hysterically, which prompted Shawn to start laughing just as hard.
That is what I like to calm my "Duke Moment." In the middle of the most intense grief of my life, God revealed His loving presence to me through laughter, and not just a chuckle, but gut busting laughter.
In the center of your darkest moments, always be on the lookout for your own divinely inspired "Duke Moment," whatever form that may take.

Sermon

Today's sermon was entitled, "A Tragic Embodiment of Nominal Christianity." It was from Revelation 3:1-6
Here are some of the most compelling and informative points of the sermon:
1. This is a letter to the church at Sardis. The church at Sardis was like a beautifully adorned corpse in a funeral home. Beneath the outward facade of beauty, was death and spiritual putrefaction of the vilest sort.
2. Only a "few names" in Sardis "have not soiled their garments" (v.4). The majority had incurred defilement; idolatry and immorality.
3. A church can be widely known for its activity and influence ,all the while "dead" in the estimation of Christ.
4. There are a couple of wrong responses to this. One would be to respond with righteous indignation, and say, "Yes, but that's not us." These are the ones who are in particular jeopardy of spiritual mediocrity. The second wrong response would be to "throw in the towel," and abandon the local church because of its frailties. Nowhere in these seven letters does Jesus even remotely suggest that the local church is dispensable. Failure of the local church is not synonymous with abandoning the local church.
5. There are promises rewarded to those who persevere. First, in verse 4, they will "walk" with Jesus "in white, for they are worthy." Our worth is a gift of  God's grace, not a reward for our obedience. However, at the same time Jesus calls on us to walk in a way that is "worthy" of our calling, which is to say we are to live in a way that accurately reflects the glory, beauty, holiness, and great privilege of being a child of God.
Lastly, the "overcomer" will be "clothed in white garments." This refers to the experiential holiness of life now, by the virtue of the gracious, sanctifying work of the Spirit, as well as the righteousness of Christ himself that is imputed to us by faith.

Conversation Cafe& NTS

Last night I went to UCO for Conversation Cafe. CC is a ministry that connects with International students.
I had the opportunity to meet a couple of very sweet girls from China; "Han," and "Yo Yo." I had a great time connecting with these precious international students. I have known for quite some time that God has called me to minister to internationals. I have been on mission trips to Uganda and Kenya, and have been blessed both times by the people in these countries.
For some reason, I have gotten away from doing what God has called me to do. There are so many unreached people all over the world, not to mention here in The United States. Luke 48b says, "From everyone who has been given much, much will be expected." I want to join God on this journey He has planned for me!

I received exciting news today! I decided to switch paths and apply to Nazarene Theological Seminary to get my masters degree in Theological Studies. They contacted me today and told me that I have been accepted!
Very grateful for this opportunity!

Why We Qualify

I was at my Bible study yesterday, and one of the women in the group shared that she has wanted to become a Naturopathic Doctor for a long time. But she thinks, because she is overweight, she would not make a credible Naturopathic Doctor. She has disqualified herself from something that is very important to her, because of some self imposed standard that she has placed upon herself.
It made me think of all the times I have disqualified myself, because of my own self imposed standards.
It also made me think about the Apostles in the Bible, and how easy it would have been for society to disqualify them based on something other than God's truth.
Peter disowned Jesus three times (Matthew 26:69-75), and yet God called Peter to write two of the New Testament books.
Also, Paul killed Christians and persecuted the church (Acts 9:1&2), yet God called him to write the bulk of the New Testament books; 13 total.
It would have been easy for someone to tell Peter or Paul that they were not qualified to preach God's Word because they denied Christ and killed Christians.
However, God had and still does have a different plan. He does not see things the way man does.
What qualities a person to be considered worthy IS all about performance, BUT is has nothing to LPdo with our performance, AND everything to do with Jesus' performance on the Cross. Hebrews 10:14 says, "because by one sacrifice he has made perfect forever those who are being made holy."
I don't want to continue to disqualify myself from life, and possibly miss out on God's blessings, because I judge my worthiness on mine or the world's standards. I want to join God in furthering His Kingdom.
What God says about me is the truth and that is what qualifies me to do things that would otherwise seem impossible.