Apologetics group

We had our second apologetics group today. We had a great discussion about atheism, determinism and Calvinism.
We also talked about the difference between apologetics and systematic theology and evangelism.
One of our members, Jerry talked with one of the elders at Henderson Hills church and it looks like they are going to let us be an official church group.
It's very exciting to watch God move in all of this!

Chapter 5

Here is another excerpt from chapter 5 of my book:

Around age 19, my days were spent hiding out in my parents house doing rituals and many evenings were spent hanging with a couple of friends.
I was drinking, smoking pot, using cocaine and had graduated to ecstasy. A friend introduced me to ecstasy and I absolutely loved it. I had become a total recluse but was willing to venture out of the house if it meant I would be able to drink or drug my way into oblivion.
When my friend asked me if I wanted to try ecstasy, I eagerly accepted. I would have tried anything that was mind altering.
About 20 minutes after swallowing the ecstasy pill, it kicked in. It was the most deliciously pleasurable high I had ever experienced. All of my bad thought and feelings ceased. I was floating in the most euphoric alternate state of reality.
I lost all inhibition and couldn't adequately put into words how much I loved everybody around me, although I gave it a good try.
My high was prematurely halted, because when I got home my parents were waiting up for me. I had no idea how apparent it was that I was high, but my parents knew right away. This led to an all out screaming match.

Scripture verse: "For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord" Ephesians 4:8

Chapter 5 excerpt

Here is an excerpt from chapter 5 of my book:
Around May of 1990, I contacted my original eating disorder therapist to enquire about a hospital for me to go to. I knew I was completely screwed up and needed help, but I also wanted to be someplace where my food intake would be monitored so I could lose weight.
Dr. Morris told me about a hospital in Baltimore, Maryland called Shephard Pratt.
My parents and I called and talked to admissions and we thought it might be a good fit. At this point, there was really nothing to lose.
It was June 1990 when I arrived at Shephard Pratt. I stayed for 3 months. Not only did I not get any better, I actually got worse.
By the time I went to Shephard Pratt, a substantial part of my identity was tied in with being sick. And I really wasn't ready to give that up since I had nothing to replace it with. Within a few weeks of being there I went from wanting to stay sick to wanting to hold the title as the sickest patient. What started off as a game to be won, became a part of my very essence.
My OCD intensified 10 fold. I was waking up at 4 in the morning and start all of my rituals. Many of them were done secretly in my home. My compulsions had graduated to the bizarre. After I would use lotion, I would have to wipe off each spot on the bottle 20 times and I could not do the whole bottle at one time. I had to wipe it off in small increments. I had to go through the same routine whenever I used anything; my hair brush, toothpaste, toothbrush, etc.
I also adopted many idiosyncrasies around meal times. In between each bite of food, I would have to tap my form and rock back and forth in my chair in a particular sequence. All of these ritual provided a temporary sense of relief.

Scripture verse: "I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten" Joel 2:25.

Dinner with Atheists

This evening, my friend Jerry and I had dinner at Van's Pig Stand in Moore (which, by the way, has great barbecue), with some members from Oklahoma Atheists.
We wanted to make a connection with them and hopefully have a different experience with Christians, than what they have had in the past.
Some of them have had painful or negative experiences with Christians or the church, so I pray that I was able to show them the love of Christ without proselytizing.
It was a great evening with great people and great conversation!
I am praying for God's leading in all of this.

Scripture verse: "By this all men will know that your are my disciples, if you love one another" (John 13:35).

Chapter 4

Here is an excerpt from chapter 4 of my book:
Around June of 1989, I became increasingly desperate to get diet pills. My mom had been getting them for me, but by this time I had developed a tolerance to them and needed a lot more than she would be able to obtain for me.
I was terrified, because I couldn't control my eating and desperate to get diet pills. Fear and desperation can be a very dangerous combination.
So, I decided to call a pharmacy in Oklahoma City and pretend I was a nurse at one of my doctor's office. I called in a fraudulent prescription for 200 Ionamin's with 4 refills. The pharmacy asked for a prescription number, and since I had no idea what a prescription number was, I just grapped a random prescription bottle that I had lying around, and rattled off some numbers.
When they told me the prescription would be ready in a couple of hours, I thought I had hit the jackpot. I was so impressed with how crafty and resourceful I was.
When it was time, I drove to the pharmacy and went in. I told them my name and they said my prescription was ready. As soon as I picked up the bag that had the pills in it, I heard someone behind me say, "Excuse me ma'am, but you are under arrest." I can't remember what the police officer called the formal charge, but it had something to do with fraud.
The police officer put me in hand cuffs, lead me out of the pharmacy to his police car. I wanted to die! I was in utter shock. I couldn't believe this was happening!

Scripture verse: "I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me" ( Galatians 4:20).

Teaching series

I attended the last teaching sermon, in this particular series, this past Thursday at Bridgeway church.
Pastor Storms explained a common belief held by many people about the end times. It is called Dispensational, Pre- Tribulational, Premillennialism. It closely follows the Left Behind books.
To summarize:
Christ returns in the clouds of heaven and raptures/translates the church to Himself and then returns to heaven.
This occurs before the 7 year tribulation period, hence Pretribulationism.
This is Christ's Second Coming or Second Advent. It occurs after the tribulation when He returns with His church to destroy the Antichrist at Armageddon and establish His earthly Millennial kingdom; Christ's earthly rule of 1000 years.
Then, the release of Satan from his prison at the end of the Millennium, his destruction, the Great White Throne Judgement, the creation of the New Heaven and New Earth, the inauguration of the eternal state the eternity.

Then Pastor Storms described the view that he thinks is more accurate. It's called Amillenialism.

1. Death is swallowed up at Christ's Second Coming ( 1Cor. 15:22).
2. Who we are as Christ's people is made manifest and the natural earth will be set free at the second coming  ( Romans 8).
3. The Second Coming will bring the New Heaven and New Earth ( 2 Peter, 3).
For Premillennialism, the new heaven and earth happens 1000 years after the second coming.
4. There is one bodily resurrection of all. We get our new bodies at the second coming ( John 5:28&29).
Pretribulational Premillennialists believe there are multiple bodily resurrections spread out.
5. When the Lord Jesus is revealed at the second coming, Eternal Judgement happens.

Pastor Storms reminded us that this should not be a point of contention among believers. There is only One thing we must agree on about the end times, and that's that Christ is coming back.

Chapter 3

Here is an excerpt from chapter 3 of my book, "Not Mine Alone"

My junior year Homecoming dance was in March 1987. I went with a boy, named Billy Coleman.
There was a party before the  dance, and Billy and I drove in my car to the party. By this time, my eating disorder had significantly progressed, so I had not eaten anything for two days to make sure that I looked great in my dress.
At the party, I drank two large glasses of wine. Drinking that much wind on an empty stomach caused the alcohol to take effect very quickly and very intensely.
When the party was over, Billy , who was also drunk, but not as much as I was, drive us, in my car, to the dance. When we drove into the school parking lot, I told Billy I needed to throw up. He said he would take me to a residential area off school grounds so I could throw up.
Billy backed the car up, and hit what he thought was a speed bump, but in actuality was a curb that led into a very deep ditch. He pressed on the accelerator to go over the "speed bump," and we ended up in the ditch.
Little did I know that the school headmaster and the head of the English department had seen the entire incident.
In a complete daze, I looked out my window, and saw them standing outside my door. They opened my door, and the head of the English department took a hold of my arm, since I was so drunk I could barely walk at all, let alone walk up a very steep ditch.
They took Billy and I into the principles office and called our parents. As dramatic as ever, I started hysterically crying. I have no memory of what my parents said when they walked into the principles office. This was thirty years ago, and I was blackout drunk.
I got suspended from school for a week, and since Billy was driving, he got expelled.
The next day, I told my parents that I had drank very little wine, but since I had not yet eaten dinner, what little wine I had drank, made me very drunk. I had become such a good liar, that they believed every word of what I said.

Teaching series

I have been attending a teaching series on Thursdays at Bridgeway church.
This past Thursday was on death and hell.

Pastor Sam Storms addressed the argument that many people make about the injustice of hell.
Here is how he responded:
We humans are hardly the ones to assess the enormity of our sins. "Is the magnitude of our sins established by our own status, or by the degree of offense against the sovereign, transcendent God?" ( Carson, 534). As John Piper has pointed out, " The essential thing is that degrees of blameworthiness come not from how long you offend dignity, but from high the dignity is that you offend" ( Let the Nation's be Glad, 127).
In other words, our sin is deserving of infinite punishment because of the infinite glory of the One against whom it is perpetrated.

I have never thought about it in those terms before. We deserve eternal punishment not because of how much we sin or degree of sin,  but because of the holiness of the One (God) who we sin against.
I am so grateful to be written in God's book of life!

Genesis 25

I was reading a section from Lysa Terkeurst's book "Made to Crave."
She quoted Genesis 25:29-34:

"Once when Jacob was cooking some stew, Esau came in from the open country, famished. He said to Jacob, 'Quick, let me have some of that red stew! I'm famished!
Jacob replied, 'First sell me your birthright to me.'
'Look I am about to die,' Esau said.
'What good is my birthright to me?'
But Jacob said, 'Swear to me first.' So he swore an oath to him, selling his birthright to Jacob.
Then Jacob gave Esau some bread and some lentil stew. He ate and drank, and then got up and left
So Esau despised his birthright

By using these particular verses is to illustrate how much Esau gave up for just a few moments of physical satisfaction. Esau gave up his inheritance rights that favored him as the firstborn son of Isaac. Esau put immediate gratification before his long-term interests.

I think about how many times I have done the same thing and all the blessings I may have missed because of it.

Esau was meant for more and so are we!

1 Corinthians 6:12

Today, I was reading some Bible verses that are applicable to food related strongholds.
One in particular stood out to me:
"Everything is permissable but not everything is beneficial. Everything is permissible but I will not be mastered by anything." 1 Cor. 6:12

God has given me freedom but choosing to live a life void of boundaries is really not freedom at all. It actually leads to slavery and bondage.

Chapter 2

I just finished chapter 2 of my book and I thought i would post an excerpt.

"Around the age of ten, my Obsessive Compulsive Disorder started manifesting in different ways. I started obsessing about animal abuse. I had explicit thoughts that would mentally torment me. My mother bought tabloid magazines every week, and the Enquirer would regularly have articles about specific cases of animal abuse.
One of the first articles I saw was how they eat dogs in the Philippines. Along with the article, there were graphic photos. After I saw that article, almost every waking moment was consumed by thoughts of those images. Along with the grief I felt about the dogs, I was also terrified, because I couldn't stop thinking about it. Moreover, I felt obligated to think about it, because in my mind, I reasoned that if there are animals suffering this much, then why do I deserve to be happy? It was a kind of solidarity with something (animals) that I loved more than anything else. My rationalization was; if there are animals suffering, I needed to think about it constantly in order to join them in their suffering.