Chapter 10

Here is another excerpt from chapter 10 of my book:

The morning after taking the twins to Wayne and Dina's home, Shawn, Mike and I drove to the courthouse.
For the most part, I remember sitting in somber silence during the drive. I hadn't cried since I left Wayne and Dina's home. After we arrived at the courthouse, we went into the judge's chambers to sign papers. I remember very little of my surroundings in the judge's chambers. I know Mike was sitting next to me and Shawn was sitting behind us, her head down in fervent prayer. The judge was a man in his sixties, with kind empathetic eyes.
It was now time to sign papers terminating my legal rights to my babies. In order to expedite the process, Mike quickly signed the papers and left the room.
When it was my turn to sign, I broke down and started sobbing. I picked up the pen to sign the papers, but I was crying so hard I couldn't even write. I looked at the judge and asked if I could have a moment. He looked at me with those kind, gentle eyes, and said, "Of course."
I excused myself from the judge's chambers and went into the restroom. As soon as I walked in, I fell against the wall and crumbled. I continued to cry uncontrollably. I desperately prayed, "God, if this is what you want me to do, please give me the strength to do it."
Although I was still shaking and crying, I pulled myself together enough to go back into the judge's chambers. I then signed papers relinquishing my parental rights to my twins.

Scripture verse:
"Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go" Joshua 1:7&9.