Returning To True Hunger

In the Bible study, "The Weight of Grace," the author describes 3 "layers" of issues with one "bedrock" factor underlying the reason women overeat.

• The first layer, which is the most obvious layer, is food/dieting. This is the layer that most women tend to believe is the "real issue," and where the they usually concentrate their greatest efforts to "solve the problem" of overeating.
• The layer below is eating to "medicate" emotions. This is a deeper, less obvious layer. Here, food is used to comfort, distract from, suppress, or calm unpleasant emotions.
• The layer below that is the need to stay large/fat. This is the deepest, most overlooked layer. This is the layer that most women have no idea exists, but women who overeat have deeply held beliefs about themselves and what it means to be "fat" or "thin" that serve as tremendous motivators for their overeating, canceling out even the strongest desire to be thin.

Until about a year ago, I didn't give much thought to the need to stay fat. Staying fat is a form of protection for me. When I have been thin, I have done terrible things and terrible things were done to me. So as much as I desire to be thin, thinness is also very closely related to danger for me. When I am fat, I don't take as many risks, and disqualify myself from many activities. As a result, this self-imposed seclusion protects me from danger.

 The author also explains the "bedrock factor." This is our relationship with God, and our understanding of his character and intimate, loving involvement with our struggles, even struggles with overeating and being overweight. Seeing God as a participant in each layer of issues is crucial to experiencing healing and freedom.

I have become acutely aware that my fear of being thin is not that I don't trust myself, but that I don't trust God. I don't trust what He says about me; that I am a brand new creation ( 2 Cor. 5:17), that I am seated with Christ in the heavenlies ( Eph. 2:6), that I have incomparably great power because I believe( Eph. 1:19), and that I am no longer a slave to sin but to righteousness( Romans 6:18). Moreover, I lack trust in what God says about Himself: He is my hiding place and will protect me from trouble ( Psalm 32:7), He satisfies my desires with good things ( Psalm 103:5), God is greater than the one who is in the world ( 1 John 4:4b), and that Christ came to give me abundant life ( John 10:10).

There is a difference between believing God and believing in God. Scripture says, "Even the demons believe in God and shudder" ( James 2:19). Do I believe what God says or just merely believe in Him?

Although I don't always believe what God says about Himself and about me, it doesn't make what He says any less true. I am going to continue to pray that  God's truth would be my authority, instead of my circumstances or how I feel.