Chapter 11

Here is an excerpt from chapter 11 of my book:

It was June of 1999; about a year after giving the twins up for adoption. Mike went to jail for unpaid parking tickets. I decided to go to the jail and bail him out. We were officially back together.
I stopped going to church and AA meetings. I stopped associating with  people who were good for me, or who would impart godly wisdom.
Mike would either stay at my apartment, or I would stay at his house. I was temporarily successful at numbing my grief.
One afternoon, I was waiting for Mike to get home. When he walked in the door, I knew he was stoned. At first, he tried to deny it, but when he realized I wasn't angry, he told me the truth. Not only was I not angry, I was thrilled at the prospect of getting high. After almost 3 years of sobriety, I relapsed.
One night I got so stoned, I called my sister Paula, and started sobbing and rambling on about some dog. Paula calmly asked me if I was high, and I told her "yes." I don't remember the rest of the conversation.
I was smoking pot and or drinking everyday. I also started huffing again, and for the first time in 9 years, I cut on myself.
I approached my 30th birthday with a sense of utter dread. 30 seemed so old, and it was hard for me to fathom how much of my life I had wasted. I stayed stoned the entire day.

Scripture verse:
"Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; he rises to show you compassion. How gracious he will be when you cry for help. As soon as he hears, he will answer you" ( Isaiah  30:18a&19b).