Chapter 5 excerpt

Here is an excerpt from chapter 5 of my book:
Around May of 1990, I contacted my original eating disorder therapist to enquire about a hospital for me to go to. I knew I was completely screwed up and needed help, but I also wanted to be someplace where my food intake would be monitored so I could lose weight.
Dr. Morris told me about a hospital in Baltimore, Maryland called Shephard Pratt.
My parents and I called and talked to admissions and we thought it might be a good fit. At this point, there was really nothing to lose.
It was June 1990 when I arrived at Shephard Pratt. I stayed for 3 months. Not only did I not get any better, I actually got worse.
By the time I went to Shephard Pratt, a substantial part of my identity was tied in with being sick. And I really wasn't ready to give that up since I had nothing to replace it with. Within a few weeks of being there I went from wanting to stay sick to wanting to hold the title as the sickest patient. What started off as a game to be won, became a part of my very essence.
My OCD intensified 10 fold. I was waking up at 4 in the morning and start all of my rituals. Many of them were done secretly in my home. My compulsions had graduated to the bizarre. After I would use lotion, I would have to wipe off each spot on the bottle 20 times and I could not do the whole bottle at one time. I had to wipe it off in small increments. I had to go through the same routine whenever I used anything; my hair brush, toothpaste, toothbrush, etc.
I also adopted many idiosyncrasies around meal times. In between each bite of food, I would have to tap my form and rock back and forth in my chair in a particular sequence. All of these ritual provided a temporary sense of relief.

Scripture verse: "I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten" Joel 2:25.