Excerpt from Chapter 2

Here is an excerpt from chapter 2 of my book:

Life in my house and with my family was so volatile and unkind, I had to discover methods to comfort and numb myself. Around the age of eight, I started employing food to alleviate my ever present feelings of shame and guilt.
My mother had, what I like to refer to as a "Hostess drawer." In that drawer there was almost every hostess product on the market; Twinkies, Ding Dongs and Snow Balls, along with a variety of other snack goodies such as double stuff Oreos.
On top of that, being Lebanese, we had access to exorbitant amounts of food. We had three full size refrigerators and three upright freezers, that were packed full with food. So it seems logical that my first vice would be food..
When nobody was around, I would sneak into the kitchen and open the "Hostess drawer," and select several items. I would either scurry to my bedroom or I would lock myself in the bathroom, and plop down on the toilet lid and and quickly shove all the food in my mouth.I would barley have the first item unwrapped, before I started obsessing about what I was going to eat next. I barely even chewed the food. I just swallowed.
I was unaware, at the time, that along with the food, I was also desperately attempting to stuff my guilt and shame, which were both escalating at a rapid pace.